I'm so deep x'D

Does it make sence, I don't know..but all of sudden I wanted to write a lot of deep shit. I don't know. I'm not even good at writing english.. I hope I got it right.. Like, almost x'D

Everything is black. You can feel the pain deep within your chest. Your bones, your heart, even your skin is on fire. Aching. Longing to be free. Some people choose to believe that pain is just an illusion, but if pain's an illusion, why isn't everything else in this world. Universe. Is it really there at all? I believe that pain comes naturally for all the people who desires, who wants to live, to own, to become something. They suffer in darkness, but the curiosity of what true happiness is will always be buried deep in their heart, because they don't dare to dig it up. They're so afraid of the utter world, so afraid that the pain will explode and be even bigger than last time. Most people would be. It's a very common depression actually. When everything is black why don't you choose to turn the light on? The light that once was there. It's not impossible. The light may be difficult to reach, but it's not if you at least try. Why does people choose to give up, wait for the darkness to swallow them, suck their soul out of them? People were given a free will from the start. All the way since birth. I'm sure everyone has done something in their childhood that they weren't suppose to do, but did it anyway. Why? They knew, you knew you weren't supposed to. Why is it the one thing you can't have, you desires the most? Oh, I can give you many answers to that, but I won't. I'll give you another choice. There's two ways in being selfish; One, you'll stay in the dark, keep walking in the shadows forever and be wondering how your life would be if you'd ever turned on the light. At least you won't get hurt ever again. Won't fail, won't loose anyone dear to you, because you were to afraid to let anybody in. You'll be like a zombie with a fake illusion of happiness, or you can choose option number two; you do turn on the light, taking the chance to live, to be free and happy - Not looking back! There are no down sites of trying. If your heart's already gone, you can't loose it twice. If you're already dead, you can't die again. So why are you so afraid of living?